What I did in Rotterdam you ask? Staring out of a window like it’s nobody’s business.
Just kidding. Although I did spend the better half of my short city trip admiring the mighty view from my hotel window, and hanging around in the tub admiring the mighty view from my hotel window, and hanging around in bed admiring the mig- … well you get the picture.
The main reason for me hopping on a train and paying a visit to Rotterdam wasn’t Rotterdam (truly sorry, Netherlands) but the magnificent Mainport Design hotel I stayed in. I wanted to relax. In a spa. Without people. And you see, what better way to relax than dragging the whole spa shebang to your hotel room so you don’t have to stare at other people’s faces, don’t have to hear people talk and don’t have to be packed with 20 sweaty humans in one sweaty sauna cabine? You got that right, I don’t like sweaty people; well fine, I actually don’t like people in general. Now you know.
I spent the day sweating in my own sweat in my own personal hot sweat cabine a.k.a. tiny sauna, dancing and singing in the rain in my giant rain shower and floating around in my bigass tub that bubbled on command. All whilst hurrying back to my window from time to time to take in that view. Is it sad to say I actually liked Rotterdam better from a safe distance?
After I finally bubbled out, I explored Rotterdam in form of food. Or how else? I went to one of those fancy restaurants where you don’t know which one of the five forks, glasses or waiters to use. But I had glorious fun pretending to know what I was doing and pretending I was the classiest -and definitely not the most clumsy- bitch alive. Ehem.
You’d think that day two would see some improvements regarding to seeing the city, I was after all fully relaxed after spending the previous day pretending to be a glorified version of Katy
Middleton and living it up like prince Charles was my homeboy (in other words, I felt like full-on royalty for those who seem to have missed that extensive poetry), but again the day was more or less filled with my favorite activity on planet earth. Starting with a Moroccan breakfast. Continuing with the absolute best burger my stomach has ever had the pleasure of meeting. And ending at the famous food hall of Rotterdam. I fear you will mock me if I tell you I only got to stop three on my 46-stops-three-hour-walk that would take me all through Rotterdam and its … Rotterdamness because I never actually got around to visiting Rotterdam except for its food. Is it embarrassing to say I tried something of almost every foodstall and was still hungry afterwards? “She may be but little, but she is hungry”, Shakespeare once said. I believe.
Anyway, I guess I will have to return to Netherlands’ food city -I don’t know if they call it that, but I will- once more to stare out of a few more windows and eat more food like it’s nobody’s business. And maybe try to get to stop four on my sightseeing-tour next time.